Sometimes I think the fact that I read so many (fiction and nonfiction) books about Japan or Japanese citizens or non-Japanese citizens in Japan is food for my fear of actually setting up connections and getting my own ass over to the little eastern island country. Because when I read these books, it almost feels like I'm living there through the characters or nonfiction authors or whomever the tale is being told through. Yeah, it isn't nearly as good as actually going to Japan and experiencing everything first-hand, but I'm so ridiculously afraid of social situations and breaking free from my old habits that I guess sometimes these books feel like the closest thing I'll actually ever have to living there.
But anyway, while I think that over, I'll just do yet another amazon search through books about Japan et al. even though I already have a ridiculous amount. Maybe someday I'll have enough so that the amount of words will be enough to match my awkward fascination with the country.